6/6: The Fuck Cancer Classic

Last week was the 10 year anniversary of a huge event in Señor Steuck's life. Kyle appeared resigned to the fact that the milestone might go unrecognized, however Lisa "L'Assassin" proved that her cunning was not confined only to the Kubb pitch. She organized an impressive contingent of folks to surprise Kyle to help celebrate.

Special delivery Kyle. Surprise!

Naturally, the BBQ evolved into one of the most heated Kubb outings of the young season. The Fuck Cancer Classic was a rousing success! (In retrospect we probably should have insisted that the champions donate a portion of their 6-figure winnings. The event organizers will consider that for the event to be held in 2021.)

Lisa even had a cake made to celebrate the event!

"The Piston", Paul and Craig celebrating their opening match victory.

Their elation was short lived however, as they were subsequently defeated by Chamberlain, Tom "The Exuberant" and L'Assassin.
The team's opponents, mid ass-whuppin':

The loss however didn't stop The Rock Star from practicing his victory celebration moves. Next up, perfect those jazz hands!
Some of SKL's many super-fans!


Despite his textbook form, the Commish's early season slump continued:


The match lasted for hours. Pitting veteran All-Stars and rookies alike against each other. This event also saw the first ever match under the lights in SKL's most revered venue. Clearly, Grace and the Kyles were honored to be a part of such an important event.

Sara "I Hate Being Called Sara M.", The Piston, and fresh off the boat (from Minneapolis) M.J. found some late evening success . This helped all three rocket up the SSBI rankings.





With the list of competitors growing at an impressive rate, the field in the SSBI rankings has widened. The official rankings released 6/12/2011 are:

1. "The Piston"
2. Gallagher
3. Marta, Jake, Mary-Joe, "L'Assassin", Kyle H., Claudia, Vik, "Townie" and Grace
12. "The Laser", Paul, Craig, Sara M., "Señor Steuck"
17. Chamberlain, Tom "The Exuberant",
19. Blake "The Closer" ... as in he almost closes out this list. :(
20. Wes "The Rock Star"
21. Kat, Krista, Anders (hang in there guys. There's a long season ahead of us!)

Some Closing Thoughts from the Closer:

The competition was fierce between SKL Athletes. However, at the end of the day we all were united for a common goal. And, after a well fought duel, it was a solid victory for the super stars of the SKL. And if we were keeping score (and we were), the SSBI points would read:
SKL 3 - Cancer 0.

Skål!

06/04: Opening Day

Saturday, the city of Seattle was abuzz with excitement. The sun was out, and it was time for some BBQing and kubb. Indeed, the only thing hotter than the weather was the competition at the official start of the season in the inagural Back Yard Kubb Brawl (TM).

Needless to say, many of the competitors had more than their fair share of butterflies (and brats and beer) in their stomach. Gallagher prepared for the intense competition to come by soaking up some rays and stretching out his kubb muscles. The commish realizes now that my pre-season exercise routines should have included this as well.


The tournament featured several established veteran super-stars, as well as some newcomers. In all the competitors included:
Blake "The Closer"
Courtney "The Laser"
Gallagher "Ben from Parks and Rec"
Marta "Den Norske"
Krista
Jake
Kat

Marta displaying her vintage Norwegian techniques.


Jake's south paw throwing style rounded out the All-Star rotation of Gallagher and Marta. Indeed this trio proved formidable; dominating Kat, Krista and myself in two straight matches.

The undisputed champion of the day, and currently leading candidate for Rookie of the Year was Gallagher who put on a Kubb Klinic that will go down in history. He was a solid 2 for 3 in closing situations, and in the most dramatic moment, he battled from 4 kubb's down to snatch victory away from yours truly.

After tournament #1, the SKL Standings courtesy of the infallible SSBI are as follows:
1. Gallagher
2. Courtney, Marta, Jake
5. Blake
6. Kat, Krista

Best of luck going forward folks, and keep up the good work!

Kubb Spring Training Tips

In the lead-up to the the season, there are many different formulas to get back into into Kubb shape. Some athletes spend time in the weight room, others focus in on their cardio, still others such as Jason "The Boeing Bomber" traveled as far away as China to train with some of the worlds best.

In reality, all available off season options pale in comparison to participating in live action matches. With this in mind, a dozen or so of the Seattle Kubb League's brighest and most talented had a scrimmage at SKL headquarters on Easter Sunday in the annual "Jesus Died and Resurrected for Our Sins So Now We Throw Sticks at Sticks While Drinking A Lot Invitational". However, for those who don't have a regulation Kubb field in the vicinity, here are a few suggestions on ways to hone your talents in the leadup to the start of the season.

1. The best way to shed unwanted pounds accumulated in the offseason is through an intense cardio regimen. Jumping over a Kubb Kung twice should be about enough to get that heart rate up. Make sure you stick that landing! Do that, and you'll be sure to see the pounds melt away.

2. Success for many comes with arm strength. We weren't all born with the natural shoulder strength of the legendary Sven Burgensvengendurgensson; so frequent raising of full beers to your mouth should be a good way to get back into game-shape. The brilliant thing about this technique is that the weights naturally become easier to lift with each successive rep.

3. The experienced Kubb player knows just how important it is to have a strong core and lower body. Numerous squat thrusts while holding kubb pins provides excellent resistance. Note, this should only be done shirtless while wearing unnecessarily baggy hammer-pants. Ladies, you might want to do this one behind closed doors.

4. This technique allows you another method of strengthening your core and lower body with the added benefit of taking out the recycling. A quick toss of your empties, for example into your next door neighbors' back yard, is both good for your body and good for the environment!

5. We've all been there. You win! The crowd goes wild! Everyone's eyes are on you. You do your best to channel your inner Ochocinco, but instead perform the most awkward version of "The Robot" ever done at the conclusion of a major sporting event. So with this in mind, while your working on improving your ability to play the game, why not work on celebrating after it? This simple resistance based exercise will help the disco moves come to you faster than you can say "Saturday Night Fever". Note: Ochocinco has reportedly expressed interest in fulfilling his lifelong dream of playing Kubb. He has yet to report to Spring Training.

6. So Disco's not your thing huh? Well the above resistance based exercise will keep you on the cutting edge of dancing technology. Say hello to the "Lawn Mower". With slight modifications this can also be used to improve your skills at "The Shopping Cart".

Well folks, that about wraps it up. I don't want to give you everything out of my repertoire. Afterall, your humble commish is also a competitor. But until the day that the Kubb season goes into full Swing (perhaps this Saturday at the Husky Spring Game Invitational), happy training, and happy drinking.

Skål!

Shaking off the rust ...

It has begun! Kubb season is upon us! We had a beautiful day, which meant it was finally time to finally christened the backyard. Needless to say it was a monumental day!
L'Assassin and Señor Steuck:

The early season session also allowed a little bit of experimenting with the infallible SSBI. As of now the feeling is:

Outright victory = 3 pts
Victory when opponent misses the king = 2 pts
Loss by failing to hit the king = 1 pt
Loss = Minus a billion points

Scores will then be normalized by the number of matches.

So, for example, if we were keeping official tallies:

Match 1: 2 B - 1 K
Match 2: 3 B&C - 0 K&L
Match 3: 3 B&C - 0 K&L
Match 4: 1 B&C - 2 K&L

Matches Played:
BD 4
CO 3
KS 4
LP 3

SSBI:
CO 2.33
BD 2.25
KS 0.75
LP 0.67

If anybody has any suggestions on a more fair way to do it by all means let me know. Though I reserve the right to completely ignore it.

4/17: The Sun is Shining!

The sun is shining folks. It's time for Spring Kubb Training to begin. Hopefully you've been doing your offseason exercises, because this year we're playing for keeps! (Whatever that means).

This blog may not be worth my trouble, in fact I'm certain it isn't. But it will be be a means to post photos, tell our stories, and most importantly to keeping a running ranking of all the stats of Kubbery. Rankings will be established by the Super Secret Blake Index (SSBI) which will find a way to balance team and individual performance to crown a champion.

What I need from you is
a) for you to follow this blog so you can get up to the minute stats,
b) any suggestions that would make this more interactive or fun,
c) a nickname with which you will be known by (I reserve the right to ignore it and put something completely different in place)

Welcome to the League folks! Skål!